It is not your fault.

None of us are perfect parents. Some of us are very poor parents. Yet there are children who grow up in abusive homes who never use drugs or alcohol. And there are children from non-abusive “good homes” who do.

Parenting plays one of the greatest roles in shaping our children’s behavior, but we do not get to raise our children in a controlled environment, nor are we the only big influence on their lives. There are other worlds within their worlds — both real and illusory. There is the world of their peers, at school and in the neighborhood. There is the world of sex, drugs and violence they are bombarded with by television, movies, videos, music, and social media.

We cannot shelter our children from every negative influence, nor can we provide an impenetrable shield against substance abuse. But we can be one of the greatest factors contributing to the recovery of a young person using drugs or alcohol. When parents are willing to get involved in the recovery process, the young person’s chances of recovery are very high. When parents do not get involved, some kids will still recover, but the chances of early recovery are greatly diminished. These young people generally suffer longer, and with far more serious consequences, before they get sober. And those who aren’t as fortunate, of course, don’t survive the disease.

So get ready.

The above paragraphs are excerpts from the book ‘Recovering Our Children’ by John Cates and Jennifer Cummings.